Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
