We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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