dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
