That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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