You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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