Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
