How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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