how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
