Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
