google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You're like the curious george of whores
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You have to summon your inner elephant
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
