Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
