This girl is more easily done than said...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
