Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
