We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
