This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
