new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
No subtext here. People are naked.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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