a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
