Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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