i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
