ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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