So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
