I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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