dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
