i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
