I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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