guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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