Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
