Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
