Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
