So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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