so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
