bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just had sex on a roof
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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