Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
