fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it glows. i had to have it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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