Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
