well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
