We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
