apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
