I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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