For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
