we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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