so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
