walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
