Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
