She's JV to your varsity
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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