shes about as inviting as chlamydia
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
