You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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