Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
