found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
