i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
