Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
