I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im holly from the hills drunk
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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