"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
