I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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